The worst thing about not having you near is probably not to be able to send an ugly, sleepy message first thing in the morning when I wake up from a weird dream. Or probably throughout the day, when I snap a picture of random cat passing in front of me—I wouldn’t have enough time to pet it so I’d ramble about how pretty it is to you, and you would laugh. Oh, I think about the most random thing sometimes, perhaps remembering that I haven’t finished watching a 12-episodes-long series since last year, and when I tell you that, you’re gonna ask the series' title and what it is about—I’d answer excitedly, and the conversation goes on.
Don’t get me wrong . Big, reassuring words you’ve always been sending and various kind of things we do to have our own quality time are grand. Oh, I adore them in my little heart to the point sometimes I can’t contain them well—they spill and splatter everywhere. But honey, the void in my chest longs the most to the smallest, most silly conversations going between us. And our lips. Our delicate fingers. The stare you’d probably give me (and I’d most likely blush). Giggles that you sound, and whine I let out from my throat. The thoughts that I will be losing them someday is killing me already.
My love, I wouldn’t be dying if your long paragraphs are absent and if I sleep early because your calls are not the one I’m anxiously looking forward through the entire day, I promise I won’t. But I can’t help not to ache if I were to wake up without your feather-like touches, trivial whispers, and laughs to the most unfunny thing we tell to each other. Do you get it? Do you get it that you’re every small thing that I crave for every minute of my life? Do you get it that going home wouldn’t ever feel like it if you weren’t there?
Dear, my dearest. At the end of the day, I’d chant a pray, and it would sound like this. I’d look for a home to contain our love, and I’d choose the small one. I’d let our love resides in each of its every corner. So, darling, would you take my hand and come grant your rest with me in our tiny lovely house?
